As a grief therapist, I often get calls from people asking how they can help someone as they go through the grieving process. As we all know, it’s very individual, but there are some general things that most everyone appreciates.

First and foremost – LISTEN. That’s what most people want. They don’t want to hear reassurances or a story about someone who has been through something similar. They just want to be able to talk without judgment or advice. And this isn’t only when grief is new – it’s for long-term grief, as well.

Second – BE THERE. Be there when they are sad, and be there when they are happy. Be there when death has just occurred and be there years later when they are still grieving. Many times people are surrounded by loved ones in the aftermath of a death, but months and years later, they are left feeling alone and they need others to reach out.

Third – DON’T IGNORE the death. Sometimes we don’t know what to say, and that’s okay. But ignoring the topic makes them feel like their loved one didn’t matter – or that they are the only ones who remember. You won’t make them sad by bringing it up – they are sad already. At least when the death is talked about, they can feel open about what they are going through in the moment.

Fourth – REMEMBER. Remember important dates or anniversaries. A simple call, text, email, or card can make such a difference. It helps to know others remember and are thinking about them on those difficult days.

And finally, ASK and OFFER. If you aren’t sure what might be helpful for your loved one, simply ask them. They may not know the answer, but by asking, they know you want to help them. Also, you can offer to run errands, pick up dinner, watch children, go to a movie, or a variety of other things you think might be helpful.

There is no one right way to help someone who is grieving, but if you are empathic and try your best, it will be appreciated by your loved one in a very dark time.

Amanda is a Clinical Mental Health Counselor, specializing in individual and family therapy for people of varying backgrounds. She works for Memorial Estates, running their Grief & Loss Counseling program.

She has extensive experience working with adolescents and families in the community. Amanda received her Master’s Degree in Educational Psychology from the University of Utah. There she focused on Multicultural and Client Centered Counseling.

Amanda started her career working for Salt Lake County Youth Services, serving families from all backgrounds and with a wide variety of issues. She further developed her passion for helping people recover and heal from trauma and loss.

In counseling, Amanda values the trust and safety of the therapeutic relationship. She creates a counseling environment full of compassion, safety, empathy, and understanding. She constantly strives to help to cultivate strong relationships and assist families to cope with the loss of a loved one. Through her open attitude, and the warm environment that she facilitates, families can begin to feel peace as they work through their bereavement.

Memorial Estates, with the help of Amanda Nelsen, is committed to helping you through the loss of your loved one. You may contact Amanda at (801) 718-1520 or [email protected]

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